why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
