Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize