I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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