There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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