What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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