Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
