No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
