I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.