Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts