It's Friday. Sex?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
