Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.