so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This house was built for laser tag.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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