well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
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so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.