I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.