It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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