I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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