I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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