Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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