Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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