the condom got lost in my hair
ugly people sure do ruin things
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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