Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
