So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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