considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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