Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
