Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we should paint friendship bongs
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