I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
