Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
