Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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