I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
