I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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