he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
