..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
