Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
