she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
