I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
