is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
