i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
