I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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