too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
