Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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