if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
