She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
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i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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