I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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