Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
