This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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