this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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