i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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