If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
