Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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