She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
