i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
