My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
