Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
