Say something about gay babies.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
