My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize