is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just googled if crying burns calories
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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