Screwed.edu
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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