I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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