My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
