My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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