btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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