I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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