My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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