his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
