The maid of honor just puked.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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