I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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