I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She told me I should be a condom model.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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