On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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