we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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