Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
