I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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