the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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