Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
